March 29, 2023
Hovis' Friday blog: "I went from thinking she was actually pretty normal to realizing she was a 'riding woman'"

  • Expensive Diary,

    As I am certain you all know, the mothership rocked St Morzits over the weekend to observe the over-washed and thus shrunken thoroughbreds attempt to smash the riders at one another with lengthy hammers as they chase after an orange ball bouncing throughout a frozen lake. It is a sport that solely individuals can dream up, let’s be trustworthy…

    I hadn’t considered that, nevertheless it additionally despatched tales of individuals on skis being pulled behind horses going full incline on frozen floor. I want to level out that as I watch this, I think about as soon as once more being struck by the luck that will need to have been chosen by me. Since he by no means needed to stroll into frozen lands to get the identical expertise – I’ve executed this to him twice in my life, attempting to restrain me exterior of a faculty for a very long time. My selfless need to provide him the entire, various equine excessive sports activities experiences I’ve all the time felt was underestimated by him. Perhaps now he can begin to see it from a distinct angle. It is most likely the subtle mild that seeps out from beneath the cover over his head as he sobs hysterically however, heh, it is a mild…

    Anyway, whereas she was gone, the brand new boss woman reduce me off once more – apparently after suggesting that I appeared slightly “frizzy”, however I feel she’s actually doing her finest to point out my mother how weak I’m. If I get slightly thinner, it will likely be onerous to see from the aspect, and I feel this reality has an ally. The possibilities of convincing his mom of this are simply as doubtless because the mom turning down a Dairy Milk throughout the “weight-reduction plan,” however a boy can dream.

    It is truthful to say that I actually like this new boss woman – she appeared very smart and completely different from mother, having an IQ barely greater than her bra measurement. Till this week. When he and I made a decision to try a hacking.


    Similar to wingless individuals/victims to the Tractor Gods.

    Like fully ALONE.

    Now I’ve to level out that I have not hacked since we got here to the brand new backyard since my mother could not persuade anybody to come back with us. Mini-mom all the time stated she and Barbie have been coming – which I had no drawback with as a result of I am certain the little gingerbread deal with can be nicely acquired by the tractors of terror. However the mom apparently thinks it is past her to shock everybody by safely getting her pups into double digits, attempting to take care of considered one of my ‘moments’ and defending her youngster. Let’s be trustworthy, as we have stated many instances, the mom entered the gene pool whereas the lifeguard wasn’t trying, so the checklist of these “past her” is longer than BeyoncĂ©’s rider.

    Anyway, again to the subject.

    So the loopy boss woman obtained me up and we have been off. Outdoors the courtyard and across the village, I rapidly determined that I must be the good one amongst us, thus influencing DEFCON One Hovis Hyperawareness. She then handed this on to the mothership as I used to be very “buzzed”, however frankly, from considering that this was truly fairly regular, I started to comprehend that, like most of her sort, sadly she is a “rider girl” and due to this fact has. Self-preservation tendencies of a lemming on a suicidal match. We ran right into a tractor and although I attempted to put it aside by turning and altering path sooner than a politician at a breakfast present, he simply put his leg in and it turned my 180 into 360, which was as annoying because it was slightly spectacular. . So, deciding that widespread sense is the higher a part of prowess, I handed it with the main focus and pace of a mother going to a free bar.

    He let his obedience know that I loved the expertise and that it wasn’t as unhealthy as my mom had described. All I can say is woman, give me time, give me time…



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