Hovis’ Friday blog: I’m working on getting my black belt in the art of ‘twist and shake’

Expensive Diary,

Thanks to everybody who answered my query on keep away from additional hacking fears. I have to say a few of you’re extra manipulative than mother (which I guarantee you is a fairly nice ability), and your high suggestions for shrug and as soon as throwing individuals underneath buses have been eye-opening or watering down in your perspective. .

I do not anticipate to have the ability to displace the Loopy New Boss Mistress, and extra importantly, do not consider incurring the wrath of her very possessive mare if I crush her mom. However I get the perfect recommendations on escaping the rubbish truck, and because it’s clear that I am an beginner by a few of your requirements, I will be actively working in the direction of getting my black belt within the artwork of “spinning and throwing grass.”

Again on the cross I needed to endure (Mother, to be clear), it seems no less than vaguely like an everyday crossed bear self and never a raccoon after a loopy Friday night time in a questionable city. Admittedly, if the sunshine is correct, the greenish hue nonetheless seen throughout most of his face makes him seem like Slimer from Ghost Busters, however no less than the bat-mask-style bruises have diminished a lot that each my different half and me. He has to stroll round saying “it wasn’t me” like Shaggy.

He was lastly capable of go and purchase a brand new hat final weekend—lastly his head was much less swollen (actually this time—it had nothing to do with the scale of his ego; it was past useful) to place one on his actually huge bones. Meaning I anticipate to have interaction in reintroduction to the refined artwork of staying collectively together with your horse, somewhat than taking impromptu flying classes with out placing your touchdown gear down. Personally, I discover it ironic that he acquired on one thing supposedly “safer” than me and got here again like he’d been slapped by Mike Tyson. Karma my buddies, Karma.

Beware, I hope he would not thoughts hacking along with his stabilizers connected. Displacing Loopy Boss Woman could also be one thing I discover tough to perform as of late, however displacing the mom is far simpler – I feel that phrase “unfairly matches”.

I do know lots of you suppose I needs to be good to him however a) he rode one other horse and b) the invading yellow hazard military is quick approaching and albeit the scale of his ass makes him a really very enticing sacrifice and/or steam bearing. He will get his ass down at 20 per hour and there are not any daffodils made for survival, I guarantee you.

Anyway, I am off to do “spin and twist” drills and await Loopy Boss Woman’s bullshit concepts for “train” this week.

Later,

hovis

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