Hovis’ Friday diary: grass is glassy and my snot is icicle… but I kissed

Pricey Diary,

Effectively, what any of us may not have seen, it is virtually Christmas, which implies it is the center of December, apparently in the midst of WINTER. In case any of us would have an identical mental capability because the brainless big-breasted one, Mom Nature noticed match to coach us on this. Just like the final billion days. By guaranteeing that the one factor decrease than temperature is the mom’s IQ. Critically? It was chilly sufficient to freeze a brass monkey’s balls, and let’s be sincere, I am neither metallic nor primate, so god is aware of what would have occurred to my doll makers in the event that they hadn’t been brutally crushed once I was just a little child. On this case, my Hovis Twister (for his personal security) is hiding so distant within the human cave that SEAL Workforce Six might want to discover it.

The bottom is tougher than announcing Barbie boy’s cool identify, faculty is duller than a mommy coronary heart, making an attempt to graze is the grass-flavored glass crunchy, and my snot is freezing earlier than it even reaches the tip of my nostrils. Now fortunately I am allowed in at evening and little or no hay is given within the subject, however frankly I am not Olaf, I do not wish to construct a snowman and I am not able to let it go. The mothership muttered one thing the opposite day, not less than that it was higher than being at axle depth in mud, water, and different pleasures of clay soil, however primarily as a result of it was naturally higher insulated than an arctic seal (and match to be). sincere) and due to this fact would not really feel the chilly like we’re the hungry and delicate sorts.

The one factor that amuses me this week is a) pulling out a tiny Tim (aka Bimbo mind) with a tinsel day-after-day on a shimmering gold collar (oh, how I laughed); and b) that she needed to get undressed and work there the opposite day, whereas my mother judged faculty an excessive amount of for my delicate (and most uninsurable) extensions and due to this fact barred me from any train till issues had “solved a bit”. The pint-sized ache within the again could not eliminate a little bit of strolling and just a little trot, and since my new winter subject was slap bang close to faculty, I needed to enthusiastically “encourage” him from the sidelines. This made me look too sideways and have a imprecise feeling that he’d love a coupon in personal for 10 minutes with me in his socks, however heh, he wasn’t an excellent child so it may well’t be Santa Paws. Will you give it to him Proper?

Talking of socks, I could lastly be seeing the form of factor I’ve wished for a very long time in my socks. As a result of romance is within the air. Loopy Daisy has been right here since I bought right here and I’ve at all times discovered her very interesting, however it’s just a little too excessive on the “sizzling and loopy” scale for my liking. Nevertheless, I am a man who’s at all times up for a problem (I put up with my mother for the most effective a part of 16 years) and I am at the moment up for it as she’s VERY fascinated with kissing my face. get one for the crew.

And me.

Primarily me.

Let’s be sincere, the very last thing I pulled was an intent to get him in form, that is Kissmuss and all he needs for Christmas is mmmeeeeeee, so convey it. I could not discover a muscular toe to kiss him (lots of you have got very unusual customs), however the mooring space outdoors the barn has seen fairly a little bit of exercise prior to now few weeks. I nonetheless have it girls; I am like wonderful wine… a phrase the mom agrees with, however extra of a “excessive upkeep and getting costlier to maintain proper” causes. That is simply impolite. In all probability true, however nonetheless impolite.

Anyway, I am off to see if I can do some extra lip-locking strikes, eliminate the murderous gnome, and contemplate my Christmas current for the brand new woman in my life.

Later,

hovis

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